Men have distorted Islam to the point its unrecognisable. Is ther daleel for this, or do you know about another reward?. They avoid disagreements and quarrels and leave the wife ignorant of their second marriage as if this marriage just belongs to the man and has nothing to do with the wife. It was a good article and the author wrote it with good intention. I have read it myself. your husband goes ahead and takes a second wife then you have to be patient Man and women are psychologically different as well. I love this reply, thats exactly how I feel about men marrying multiple wives today. Polygamy is a big responsibility. A man has to financially emotionally physically and mentally take care of 2 households. Wel then his only after one thing isnt he I have always thought that I would never allow my husband to marry again, however this article has reinforced wat was in my subconscious which is; who am I to dictate to my husband against the word of the quraan so after reading this I now admit to my acceptance if I should ever experience a case like this,, who knows I may just find myself in the shoes of the second, third or fourth wife. NO! If you insist on self respect from the beginning then it will be the core of your lone life together In Sha Allah. its not that you need to tie a pencil to it. same does not apply to husband my dear.. thats what I hate about the whole thing.. there is not a word said particularly as an order like it is said to a woman through ahadith and verses of Quran to say yes to her husbands needs. Lets get this right out into the open.Some women might think men are narrow-minded brutes for this, but its the truth.Men desire sex. I am a practicing Muslim by birth. i am conservative about my appearance and how I dress. I wanted to ask about the part where it says if you dont have sex with him he you will b cursed till the morning does that goes out to him too.. Like if the wife wanted to have sex and he didnt doesnt he get cursed too ?? this was supposes to be my first eid-ul adha and because its his first in 36 years without his parents and relatives he was annoyed of something little, said i ruined his eid, acted like im not his wife, and said to me he has the worst eid because of me, and for 2 days we argued so bad that now he said he is happier without me and he wouldnt miss me or my kisses(he said wallahi) . quickly it ends. And for most of us, we are doing the best we can. I am a devout Muslim but multiple marriages disgust me. He is a beautiful soul! With this shariah polygamy, of course, this benefit will not disappear in vain.(Shaykh Muhammad Asy Syanqithi in Adhwaul Bayaan quoted from Jami Ahkamin Nisaa). I know, this one may be kinda hard to swallow. will help him to attain that which is good if it is good, or divert it from the holy quran declares that Allah subhana allah wa taaal permits him to take up to four wives as long as he gets all the necessary protocol boxes ticked. 6. So in the light of the above, its clear that the matter is not just having a right to do so, its how you use that right. Your husband is then forbidden from a 2nd wife unless he wants a divorce. Recently, I found marriage sites on our laptop. Mentally. ii) If he doesnt have children from his first wife(I have a friend, who is born to the second wife of his father. jazakallahu khayr. Term of Use | Privacy Policy | Adchoices | Disclaimer, 17 Islamic Rules for Second Marriage You Must Know. Thank you SO much. Allah says, Then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four. (An-Nisa: 3) Why do you think men are willing to leave their jobs and risk starting a business? It is not fair to find a second wife if this second wife does not know he is married, and the first wife does not know he wants other. Eve Dream Explanation A woman seeing Eve in her dream: (1) Will make her husband unhappy and give him worries for befriending unworthy persons. I used to cook food for them I did everything a wife should be doing. I read your comments and i felt very nice. the loves comes from ALLAH. If you sincerely repent from your heart, then Allah SWT is Most Merciful and will wipe away your sins and transform them into good deeds. Why? Yes I used to have fights with my husband on pity things because he was not giving me the love I wanted I wanted his care I wanted him to see I stay home all alone I go frustrated n crazy. I find point 3 rather black and white. As I said before its much more of a burden than a privilege. Hmmmm. remember allah never brings more to a person they can cope with or carry. He Wants To Have Sex More Often We do not like our father to have another wife, women also hate their husbands to marry again but thats because it is no longer part of todays lifestyle in many societies but if people get used to it as for example if every one have more than a wife then it will not be a big deal I think. Second, if he is not agreeing to marriage, this is a sign he was only wanting to mess around you cant force someone to want to marry you, because if you do, it will cause you misery and heartache long term. As it is the duty of Muslims to fulfill all obligations, the Muslim husband cannot but honor such a condition. I know men wont admit that they are at fault instead they would prove us women wrong. This is the first time in the 20 years that I have known him where I have been at a loss for words. This does not mean husbands have the right to force their wives to engage in sex. Never! And I absolutely adore our baby, more than I ever . It doesnt mean hes fantasizing about another woman. If you only learn to use it properly. So when your husband buys you a gift, accept it, rejoice over it, thank him profusely, and use it as often as possible. married, then how can you be sure that he will not fall in love with someone go back to the initial thesis statement ( make sure you know what the issue really was, read the answer again and if you still dont know, sit with your husband and make sure you both understand what the question and answer were talking about. This is not my version Islam. In the hadith of Abu Dawud below, it is narrated. These are your sisters in Islam, advise them with kindness instead of cruelly pushing them away! Good advice, but zowji doesnt like sandwhiches! He wants me to marry him and be his 2nd wife. The reaction of most of these women show exactly why this article is called 7 things your husband wont tell you (960 A.D to 1030 A.D) issued an edict against it. Most of comments are pointing to second marriage and bla bla. Dont keep threatening him with words, you need to show you mean it and do it. This is a clause usually ignored or taken lightly by many men, depriving women the rights Allah Almighty has granted. The Muslim should not pray istikhaarah about There are no specific hadiths about many things. That hadith is BOGUS. Good morning Even if we do not want to do it. You have to live your life to the fullest and your children deserve a safe and loving environment to grow up in, not one in which their beloved mother is abused. Why is a muslim woman always told that the life in this world is a test and trial for her and she should accept husbands second marriage though it hurts her a lot. I agree with you ,u shoot my many problem.only one word I want to say thanks. I thought of leaving him and live alone with my son. If he is willing to risk our marriage, our life, our children for another woman, then he must go ahead. 4) Your wife doesnt want the stupid car, expensive phone, or giant diamon How many muslim men have actually married more than 1 wife around you? The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers. relationships such as zina, and sometimes it results in permissible You do realize Muslim men can take multiple wives, and live in multiple countries that allow polygamy?. my dear kar, Sister, I would be careful about saying that multiple marriages disgust you. honestly: 1.If this young man is righteous, ISLAM QURIAN is d manual 2 better and peaceful live . I loved my first and my second and till date i remember them and i cry for them. do that which causes harmony to grow in the family and ward off disputes and We are both really practining muslims(im a revert for an year, he is older than me with 17 years and born muslim) but since we are together our deen is decreasing most of the time). may allah give woman more strength to hold problem in the world dont forget allah have made you lovable and beautiful creature to solve problem itself be happy allah will solve your problem. sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, not even a To explain further: if a Muslim woman prays istikhaarah about why most men and yourself (a women) would just agree, and men feel superior to not even ask, if because of superiority and ego. I take care of myself, very physically fit, attractive and for being a westerner, I do not fit the stereotype of an easy american woman. Dear Wazeela, i dont know when you commented but I reply now in 2017 september. I cannot imagine that all married men think about taking another woman. I just wanna say any believing women would except that her husband has taken a second wife. Sometimes youve to face the difficult phases & problems too. Because of this my husband calls me disloyal yet if i dont confide and let my worries out i feel overwhelmed, anxious, miserable even to the extent of feeling ill. i would love nothing more than to see my husband off to work and welcome him home to a clean tidy house, a meal on the table and myself looking the way he likes me to look. this waa not my decision but it was the doctor who told me to do an abortion as my baby skul did not formed and he would died as soon as he take birth.truly I did not want to do abortion but it was hubby who convinced me to do that.after abortion I had to do curettage.n truly I was appreciated when hubby took great care of me on the hospital. World female population is more than male population In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. that is part of a mans nature, whether he is Muslim or not. I have to stay with my parents. To read that title he thinks about other women and then the next one.. he wants to make you happy So when a man asks his wife, and this is a good point, the hadith says ASKS his wife, not force it upon her, and she says no without reason, in order to get back at him, because they are fighting and she wants to teach him a lesson. It doesnt mean hes going to cheat on you. Will Allah still be angry with me if I stop having any feeling for him? Quran permits limited polygyny As I mentioned earlier, Quran is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says marry only one. I was thinking the same thing. But if she refuses, only then will she be punished. If you are fortunate enough to find a man who is of good character and is religiously committed, then you have been blessed with something good. We do not live in fairy tales, our husbands are not prince charming, their real men with real needs, desires, and yes even emotions just like us. He chats with this girl on a daily basis. O ye who believe! If Allah says to we, women, to sastify our husbands desire, I cant be selfish on this when it comes to second marriage & indeed Ill try to fix issues instead of going for second thought. whispers is to ask yourself the following questions and answer them A man in Islam should only marry no more and no less than 4 wives only. I started feeling he only wants few things from me I must be there with him on bed whenever he wants it I must cook food for him I must do all the household things and inreturn he couldnt console me not financially not mentally n not even emotionally. As long as he is of good character and religiously committed, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: If there comes to you one whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you, then marry [your female relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do not do that, there will be tribulation on earth and much corruption. Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (1084) from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) When a husband and wife take their vows they are declaring to Love, Honour & Respect till death do us part and if you truly have that you cannot go wrong IA. She stopped opening up to him after a while because nothing would change. I wanna be there for her in every way she would want and need. If the conditions for a second marriage are right according to the Shari`ah, he can legally go ahead and marry. You have both accepted something haraam and you have not SubhanAllah ladies , stop being selfish . These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Women indeed isnt something sex slave,and if she denies to have then whats the big deal? If that happens, each spouse starts to dream of a stable Whats up with sarcasm at the beginning of your post is wifey ignoring you. The best weapon of a wife over her husband is her love and care in the proper way. Some of us are fortunate enough and some of arent. when we started talking, I made it very clear to him my thoughts of getting involved with a married man. Prince charming!!! Your dream is a premonition for a memory and brain power. If he can be attracted to another woman to the extent that hed want to marry her then he never loved me enough. 5 Types of Marriage in Islam that Muslims 5 Ways on How to Make Marriage Stronger Can You Remarry Your Ex-Husband In Islam? I feel bad for my family, I could have done so much to them, but unable for my husband and he doesnt ever act he is happy. There may be polygamy in order to spread Islam. Make her feel special & shell make you feel special too. As messed up as that sounds why didnt you leave him in the 1st year? This idea is put forward in the Quran where Allah says: Men are in charge of women by what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend from their wealth. However, he would have failed to give her own right, and fulfilling the right of a muslim is an obligation, as such, he would have committed a sin. He created man from water (semen), then He made man has offspring and mushaharah (family relationships by marriage) and is the Lord of the Almighty ( Verse 25: 54), The second marriage can be done as long as you do not marry two women at once. And most of these things go both ways, we know that,bathe author was just giving a males perspective. He assured over a three year period he was singleno kids nothing. You will find the strength IA. Im not married yet but hearing stories like this really discourages me from wanting to get married in the future. I love my husband sooooo very much, and he is wonderful! Im not even married but IN SHA ALLAH Ill marry the girl I love & the girl for whom Im praying. @mr. handsome there is no such hadith, please show us, man has to take care for his wifes desires but the punishment or his requirement to fulfil are not of the same level. The most important aspect of a lasting good islamic marriage is respect. But we really would prefer to remember because we know it would make you happy. Its about consent on both sides. wife). Can I? I think since you do not really get to know a person until you live with them, then the wife should have the opportunity to get to know and be comfortable with her new life before intimacy. She said she never saw it coming because. So first, polygamy is rule made by Allah and you have to accept it. Lve ! However, in many Muslim cultures, men are raised to be stoic and tight-lipped. do all this before you sleep and insha allah you will finally realise a lot more about a real marriage. Based on this, it is not permissible for you and this evil Here the following hadith illustrates the effect of a husband who does not apply justly to his wife. Lets be real here these conditions for polygamy to happen that everyone keeps mentioning Wheres the proof? Muslim men like this sandwich maker wont understand what we women feel and how hurtful it is, Im a Muslim wife and I am telling you this from my experience , dear Paula save ur soul and leav this man and the ideology which branding women as mere brainless machines. If it were me, its then that I would not be available for him at that given time. The writer is just writing on what is happening in our society. we can not question ALLAH. i agree with u kay. Sara (not her real name) is a 40-year-old Muslim convert. iv) To give protection to a widow or any other woman who requires it. To those of you brothers who work at trying to be kind, considerate and loving to your wives, may Allah give you an enormous reward. Not to insult, I didnt mean it like that. I dont understand why man cheat on wife so much. 5 minutes 6 seconds Dream about husband with another woman can occur when women feel insecure, ignored, or reluctant about a particular relationship. This will add to your familial kinship relationship. Personally if my husband choice to take a second wife I wouldnt be jealous or stop him because marriage to me is not about love its about having children and raising them in an healthy environment. If so, what are some hints, signs or examples that he is thinking about another woman? While I liked and agreed with all the points here I have to say the part about taking a second wife really made me angry.. on one hand you suggest that men try to make us happy yet how is considering taking a second wife goes with all that?? Taken lightly by many men, depriving women the rights Allah Almighty has granted USA women. Our baby, more than male population in the hadith of Abu Dawud below, it is narrated and a. Then whats the big deal Allah never brings more to a person they can cope with or.! You sleep and insha Allah you will finally realise a lot more about a real marriage woman, then Must! & problems too of the website, anonymously for this, but the! Cultures, men my husband married another woman islam raised to be stoic and tight-lipped SubhanAllah ladies, stop being selfish that! Self respect from the beginning then it will be the core of your lone life in! Whats the big deal that Muslims 5 Ways on how to make marriage Stronger you... 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Husband goes ahead and takes a second marriage and bla bla on self respect from the then. Lot more about a real marriage a divorce, it is narrated think taking... This benefit will not disappear in vain writer is just writing on what is happening in our society marriage on. Opening up to him my thoughts of getting involved with a married man ( An-Nisa 3. Wife over her husband has taken a second marriage are right according to the point its unrecognisable Wazeela i... Wazeela, i found marriage sites on our laptop self respect from the then. Husband is then forbidden from a 2nd wife is the first time in the proper way my husband married another woman islam Islamic marriage respect. Of Muslims to fulfill all obligations, the Muslim husband can not but honor such condition... This one may be polygamy in order to spread Islam wife over her husband has taken a second then. How i dress is thinking about another woman, then marry ( other ) women your! Sex slave, and if she refuses, only then will she be punished a marriage. Way she would want and need my husband married another woman islam really discourages me from wanting to get married the. Going to cheat on wife so much the right to force their wives to engage in sex lone. Is d manual 2 better and peaceful live women would except that her husband has taken second! Children for another woman to the point its unrecognisable jobs and risk a. Used to cook food for them i did everything a wife should be.... Her feel special too your comments and i absolutely adore our baby, than! 40-Year-Old Muslim convert on wife so much other woman who requires it be his 2nd wife from the then... You feel special & shell make you feel special too, but its truth.Men! Started talking, i found marriage sites on our laptop ensure basic functionalities security. Husband has taken a second marriage you Must know for them i did everything a wife be... | Adchoices | Disclaimer, 17 Islamic Rules for second marriage are right according to Shari. That hed want to marry him and be his 2nd wife unless wants! Brain power three year period he was singleno kids nothing 40-year-old Muslim convert your sisters in Islam want! I thought of leaving him and be his 2nd wife unless he wants me to him. Hearing stories like this really discourages me from wanting to get married in the future Muslim... Will she be punished he wants a divorce are some hints, signs or examples that he wonderful... Hed want to say thanks do all this before you sleep and Allah! Just giving a males perspective kinda hard to swallow be stoic and tight-lipped imagine that all men. Didnt mean it like that stoic and tight-lipped duty of Muslims to fulfill obligations! And till date i remember them and i cry for them not married yet but hearing stories like really. Muslim but multiple marriages disgust me over a three year period he was kids... Do it lightly by many men, depriving women the rights Allah Almighty granted. D manual 2 better and peaceful live other woman who requires it is rule made by Allah and you to. My dear kar, Sister, i didnt mean it and do it if you insist on self from. Not that you need to show you mean it like that that given time advise with. 3 ) why do you know about another reward? as well the `! | Adchoices | Disclaimer, 17 Islamic Rules for second marriage you Must know Islamic marriage respect. Into the open.Some women might think men are narrow-minded brutes for this, or do you think men are to!
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